But now I'm here.
He decided to be a Ballet Dancer and nothing else.
He didn't want to be an actor though he's damn handsome.
And his physique turned out really really well:
And now he's 17
And now he's moving to Boston.
To be a ballet dancer.
I cannot believe as a mother how incredibly hard this is.
He's so happy he can hardly breathe.
He tries to be polite about it to his dad and me.
He no longer goes to high school - that really stopped a couple of years ago - he just goes online and does these packets, but he mostly dances at the professional company here, who wanted to keep him.
They understood that after ten years of training, he has to go. He can't be seen as Little Boy Kidster here at his company. He has to leave them and he has to leave his Mom and Dad.
Still not planning on college, but we knew that a few years ago.
He leaves in June.
We live in the West. It's so far away, can you know how far it is? It's as far as you can go driving without falling into the sea.
I have never loved a single human being as much in my entire life.
Here's the thing, Boston didn't even make him audition for this traineeship. They just asked him to come once they saw him dance one summer.
No audition for this one, the biggest thing so far.
This is the last thing before The Real Job, which might come from this last traineeship, this last chance to be someone's student.
Wish him luck for me, you mothers and fathers out there.
Wish me and his dad luck too.
How do you stand this? He's moving so far and he's not thinking about moving back our direction for awhile. His wings unfolded on that back of his. And his eyes are looking up up up.
He's already off the floor, far off that floor.
I realize I didn't tell you what happened. He went to Houston, then New York, then Houston again. Then Boston who wanted to keep him. We made him come home for one more year. And that year is over. Those summer ballet programs toughened him up. He started ignoring the Talent Agency and didn't want to go on auditions anymore. He was in other Ballet Productions again. He went to the Kennedy Center in DC to dance. He got hardened and at the same time, more sensitive - you have to have both to be an artist, don't you? He had a gigantic crisis of confidence in himself as a dancer and as a person. His teachers, the real ones and true ones took him through it. He emerged - like -well like the photos you see above. And now it's a year or two placement back in Boston. Perhaps a job will come of it. DH and I are prouder of him than we could have hoped for - if he will just finish his damn English packets. He dances 9 to 5 now, and does school around the edges. He hangs with friends. He sometimes gets lippy. He still loves us. How did he go from that sweet little face to this Handsome Prince One?
ReplyDeleteIt's so intense, this parenting thing. No one tells you this part.
I remain ever hopeful that his life is as happy and full of joy as it can be and that he knows he has us to come to if there's trouble. I guess all parents want that for their kids. I'm glad he found that it was ballet in his heart all along. I wish you could see him dance. It's like he loses all time and place. What a happy thing for someone to find, so young. I wish he knew what his dad and I feel and think about him, but no kid really ever knows that, do they?
Hug your kid, if you stumble upon this thing. I'm going to clean the kitchen and wonder if I stumble on this blog again. I'd quite forgotten it you know.