Well, as you may have guessed, he did not get the Franklyn Covey Fighting Over a Piece of Pie Short Movie role. It's been about a month now. He has been rehearsing Nutcracker roles and assisting a little bit in rehearsals - that's what seven years of Nutcracker will do for you. He can dance all the parts now - all the kid parts and all of the adult parts - in Act I, including the Bear and Doll, which is a feat if I say so myself.
So, on Friday night, we get this call from The Agency asking about his availability to act in an ad that will be shown on YouTube - you know, those little ads that you hate when all you want to do is watch some funny cat on YouTube and you have to slog through fifteen seconds of ad before you happily click "SKIP AD" and move on to your weird cat video? You know, like this kind of Weird Cat Video?
Yes, like THIS.
Anyway, we have now learned that it's filming NEXT week, not tomorrow, this Head Lice Film and that they have sent his head shot (har har) over to the... to the people who are making an ad about HEAD LICE FOR CHRISSAKES.. to see if he looks the part. How does one look the part for a Head Lice Ad? In any event, apparently there will be a classroom full of children listening to a boring lecture a la 1960's style from a teacher who drones on and on about the sexual habits (this is true by the way) of those cunning head lice. Because it's apparently a little racy, they are filming the children and the teacher separately. My kid is fourteen. I am not worried either way. What would be sort of funny is if his first Actual Paid Gig was the Head Lice Gig. I am fantasizing about his Future Wikipedia Page which notes that he got his start in the Lice Arena.
He again is nonplussed and not stressed about the Lice Ad at all. He's into school and this new girl who at least makes good grades and has watchful parents, and who likes him back, so that's something. He thinks about going out for the wrestling team because "I'm like the smallest person there and because I'm fit, I might be able to win or something." He dances and studies and watches videos of other people playing videogames while he laughs like mad. I once went in to watch with him and lo and behold, watching other people play videogames on YouTube is actually quite hilarious if a) they are boys and b) they are British. I wonder what the British use for Lice Treatment?
Now my head is starting to itch. I'll let you know the Outcome of the Great Lice Commercial, of course. Perhaps I can find a way to post it here for all of you to enjoy.
********************* UPDATE*******************************
Looks like after a frantic day of getting him on video to READ THE PORNY HEAD LICE LINES (Holy Hell) - they decided they want him. "He got his start in.. Head Lice.." However, it's unclear exactly WHAT DAY they'll use him. We moved Heaven and Earth to find another dancer to replace him tomorrow night in Nutcracker - (THANK YOU PROFESSIONAL COMPANY PEOPLE!) and yet these folks feel a bit loose in their production schedule or whatever you call it. Still, it's $350.00! Yay for him! I guess we need to go set up some kind of bank account where he can save for college with it.
So, Watch This Space. He may have gotten his first non-dancing, paying gig after all!
****************** UPDATE REDUX ******************************
The Filming of the Porny Head Lice Commercial.
Wow. Well, this was an experience. We are given instructions to have him dressed in "earth toned" and sortof "preppy" clothes - a la a Wes Anderson movie.
Like this:
So, of course, he doesn't have clothes like these, but we winged it with what we had. The director put him in his french blue and white striped shirt with an unusual collar and under it, put a wrinkled, bright red shirt. He looked completely odd. There was another child there - she was being fitted with a "bald cap" and there were a couple of other kids there as well. Three of the children had never acted or worked before. One, a girl, got completely overwhelmed and cried but was brought round by chocolate and an Excedrin. Two boys - near relations - perhaps cousins, were lovely, stereotypical 10 year olds. One tall and horrid. One short and had loveliness potential except that he was egged on by the Tall Horrid Boy who seemed to need a Ritalin IV drip. The mother wrung her hands and rather ignored them. DB was miffed because they caused bedlam.
In the beginning, we were to drive to a town about 40 miles away to a small old school building. It was used as some kid of Charter School of the Damned and I felt it was perfectly creepy and perfectly perfect for something that is Wes Anderson-y. The director, the crew - all of them - SO YOUNG! Like early 20's young. But they had energy and verve and focus. The CFO of the corporation that was associated with the Head Lice Removal Product was there. He was very "hail fellow well met" and gracious. That left me with the Other Parents of the Nice Little Boy - let's call him "Scooter" and the mother of the Wild Cousins and two different parents that drifted in for Bald Girl and Tearful Little Girl.
And the ACTOR. The Main Actor had flown in from LA. He had lived in Utah before, but had relocated. To my immense surprise, the ACTOR was a) someone I recognized from small roles in movies I Had Actually Seen and b) was as generous with him time, advice, and kindness to parents and kids alike. He said very nice things about all of the children, except for the Ritalin Duo, where he kept graciously silent. It was fun to meet a true working actor and find him to be as normal as anyone with that kind of crazy life could be. I tried to avoid watching the taping. For some scenes, they wanted the parent present, as your child said things like "What's pubic lice?" and so on. DB was unruffled by any of it. He was mostly interested in the Food Table that was provided. I chatted and played my "Dorky Sad Mom Game" (according to my kid) on the I Pad.
Call time was at 2:30. Filming started about 3:30. We finished at 1:30 in the morning. 1:30! In the MORNING! Apparently because the time went over the allotted 8 that you are supposed to do, there will be some extra money - a little, coming DB's way.
Director was - direct. Focused. Intense. Reminded me precisely of a Border Collie except that he just couldn't let things alone. I think he was worried that because it is the holiday season, and because this commercial is running on a tight deadline, he needed to get every last possible permutation of This Kid Saying That Line. When we finished, I asked DB - "Well?" He was beaming.
And then we drove home those 40 miles and ran into an ice storm - and watched as a car flipped and landed on its roof, another car spun out - and me, going about 50 by this time, shouted "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL" and somehow, some way, pointed out little car directly between these dangerous obstacles and wove our way - no brakes allowed, they were useless, all the way through that maze and made it out the other side. DB and I were both silent. I broke into chatter about my AMAZING DRIVING SKILL. We exited the freeway and took side streets, all literally a single unbroken ice sheet - all the way home. Shaking. Laughing. Thanking God in earnest.
No school for DB today. He's exhausted, emotionally and physically. I'm not letting him out of bed - where he still is, and it's 11 in the morning. Nope. He's staying put. Because he has a Nutcracker tonight and most every night until the End of the Run (December 30). He can go to school tomorrow.
This morning, I just stood over his bed and watched him sleep. I would trade all of this Audition Stuff in a heartbeat if I knew that it meant I could keep him completely safe all the time, every time.
But in the end, what an experience! This ad will run on YouTube. The last ad these guys did got 21 MILLION hits. I checked. 21 MILLION? How does that happen? But head lice? We shall see. My head STILL itches!
:::::: LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!!::::: HERE IT IS! THE HEAD LICE AD!! ::::::::::
(notice that it's MUCH less racier than the Original Ad. No "What's Pubic Lice?" line from Darling Boy, who is the one in the middle, with the blue and white stripey shirt over a weird red collar. Notice how fab The Actor was in this piece though. I really like him alot.
And that, as they say, is THAT.
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